Constituo, ergo sum.

bibulousconfab @ 2007-12-26T07:09:00

2007-12-27T01:25:59Z

For the first time I can remember I've been free of any yuletide misgivings that generally accompanies my typical holiday cynicism, owing as much to more pressing dilemmas as to recreational nights out w/ friends back in from out of town. From what I can gather, my parents weren't too concerned w/ giving or getting good gifts, though I did feel pretty good about what I got and gave. The three of us had a genuinely nice time together, playing Monopoly in the garage with some friends of the family. I won, but nearly OD'd on mashed potatoes shortly thereafter, ruining any chance I would've had on spoiling my riches on myself.

bibulousconfab @ 2007-11-12T20:22:00

2007-11-13T03:23:07Z

many think trotsky died by an ice pick strike to the head
but really he died of a broken heart

i'm lookin' for a good cowboy

2007-02-20T10:36:58Z

Our house has been sold. I don't know to who (or what), I do however know they want to tear it down and build condominiums; one of those big fancy glass fuckers that everyone is getting sick enough of already. Needless to say, I wasn't surprised - this sort of development is almost too predictable and although our house may be less than a decade away from being considered an artifact, it probably isn't worth saving. I sure ain't lookin' forward to finding somewhere else to live BUT
C'EST
LA
VIE
I harbor an enormous sense of guilt.

bibulousconfab @ 2007-02-07T00:40:00

2007-02-07T07:40:04Z

I'm sick.
Initially I figured it was just a sore throat, something I picked up from Mike, but the glands in my neck have swelled to the size of golf balls and even swallowing can be a chore. Today I spent a whole four hours in the waiting room of 8th & 8th, which I found is a really great place to read, because otherwise you have nothing to do but look at worried faces. Once my name was up it took only five minutes for them to swab my throat, rub my glands and send me home with the promise of a phone call once my mucus had been analyzed and my illness determined. I was also advised to go in to the lab tomorrow for a blood test, in case my curse is mono.
That's essentially what's new. I also have a new job. I am, for the first time in my life, a barista. It makes for good work and I am addicted to making tips. However I can't help but feel like a total chump when I say the words "tall latte," or take shit from asshole customers for something that I am not responsible for. But I suppose that's what makes up the service industry, chumps and assholes. And tips.
I don't plan on any of this lasting long. I'm restless and upset at the world and how I've chosen to spend my time in it. This is definitely not a slight against anybody I know, so please don't take it that way.
I want somebody to come traveling with me this year.

post script: some good news - http://www.newscientist.com/channel/health/cancer/dn10971-cheap-safe-drug-kills-most-cancers.html

The list is the poor man's diary entry.

2007-01-20T01:57:25Z

Oh! Hell yes:
New duds.
New tube for bike wheel.
New job.
New Shellac record.
Oh! Hell no:
New FLQ crisis?!
Maybe crisis is too strong a word. The RCMP don't seem to think the threats are valid/serious/whatever. It just seems strange to me, I mean, when was the last time anyone heard anything newsworthy about the FLQ? Have they been nothing but a footnote for the last thirty years or have I just not been paying attention?

post script: Does anybody know a good radio station to listen to late night plays/dramas?

nothing at all.

2007-01-09T11:12:50Z

got a set of tools for the new year, so, uh, yeah. let me know if you want me to tighten yr bolts, if ya know what i mean.
oh yeah.

i need to write this down so i'll remember: never bring a date to a place where you're likely to see your friends, because then they'll question you endlessly while she's in the bathroom and in turn make conversation with her horribly awkward. well, maybe not completely horrible, but bad enough so as to make you babble on considerably about the least interesting shit, ie: my plumber.
okay, maybe my friends are not ENTIRELY at fault. i'm just pretty lousy when it comes to first dates.

but seriously, you shoulda seen this plumber. he had a face worn as old leather and his disposition was so goddamn pleasant i figured he must of been rippin' me off, but then again, his pay wasn't comin' out of my pockets. oh how fine it is. this past week i've heard nothin' but drip drip drip and right now, 4am, the only thing i hear is tap tap tap and psh psh pssh, jud jud jud, chant chant chant, buhhhhhh, BRAAAAAHAHH DUH DUH DUH dun dndndnnndnnndnndnndnd, brah braddapdapdapdap, BRAH bRUH, du du dunn dnnnn brh brh brh brh brh brh chc chh chcch chhcahkckahchckchcka chckah ck ckckchchckahchcak ckchak
fuck this band rules.

CAVEAT EMPTOR

2006-12-05T03:56:12Z

^{I saw a dead body today for the first time in my life. It wasn't as deeply shattering an experience as I had initially expected. The woman's body looked alive, almost like she was sleeping. Since this was a funeral, I can only assume that the undertaker went to great lengths to have her look so well-preserved and (un)natural. I knew this woman from my childhood, but hadn't seen her in the flesh for at least 6 or 7 years. Her name was Barton and she died of lung cancer.
It was a nice service. Brief and bittersweet. From what I could tell, over 100 people showed up and this parlor could seat no more than 75 tops. I remember they ended the service with this great Johnny Cash rendition of some old favorite. People milled around in the lobby, remembering her habits and traits, apologizing to her family, etc. What was funny about this particular funeral was that there was no minister. The entire procession was laid out with family members and co-workers, exuding words of love and friendship rather than the word of God and heaven. Maybe it's more common than I think, but I've never seen such a funeral.
If and when I die I want Leonard Cohen to be played at my funeral, and I want everyone to wear funny hats.

We have a guest staying at our house. His name is Gary and he's a black cat. In fact, he looks just like Pedro but wayyy smaller.}

via metafilter

2006-11-30T07:04:19Z

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4584913278289860160
If only this video had been set to the music of Jay-Z or something equally as inappropriate.

Re: Intoxicants

2006-11-28T14:59:53Z

Contrary to my alias, it's quite rare that I ever write under the influence of either drugs or alcohol. This is for a number of reasons. For one, I have little interest in spending my life outside sobriety restricted to one specific activity or doing anything that involves having the attention span of anyone over 5 years of age. I also like to let loose in a more open setting than my own home and upon returning from a night of tomfoolery I find the thought of my pillow much more alluring than the thought of my laptop.
Interestingly enough, whenever I've commited the act which makes up my moniker on this here "diary", I usually end up regretting it the following day and deleting it promptly. Something I'm not proud of, really. In hindsight it makes less sense to be embarrassed more by my poor drunken writing than its sober counterpart, considering the former could always be blamed on the aforementioned intoxicants.
As you can probably tell, the only reason I'm writing any of this is because I'm kindof stoned and, after reading Moby Dick for the last two hours, working towards expanding my own writing habits, for better or worse. With any luck I'll wake up tomorrow, or the day after at the rate I'm going, and not be totally ashamed by what I've written here. If the prophesy fulfills itself, well, so be it.

Stick a fork in me, etc.

what if you're wrong?

2006-11-26T16:31:05Z

^{Stayed in bed until 6, getting up only to make it to work by 7. Worked through til 11 on an empty stomach. Skipped Boyer's housewarming party due to illness and fatigue, which is pretty inexplicable considering I slept 11 or so hours and spent the 4 at work watching Richard Dawkins school creationists}

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom

2006-11-25T13:59:09Z

The end is truly nigh, folks. For the first time in 5 or 6 years I have an internet connection within the confines of my own room. That's right. I'm not sure whether Mike is trying to kill me or at least keep me from using his own room as office space, but he has run a blue cord (through which runs the slimy web of internet trickery) from his room to mine thus ensuring my doom and, subsequently, that of my cats and all those around me.
Last time I held this burden was in my senior year, not leaving my room for anything save pissin'.
It is colder inside than outside, I kid you not. Julia you should be countin' your damn stars you got out before winter got in. I'm comin' to see you in breezy, beautiful Halifax; where every month is July.

woowoo

2006-11-17T02:57:38Z

Unemployed and flat broke. As much as I'm enjoying all this leisure time, it's lookin' like I'm going to have to buck up and get productive. I'm expecting a letter in the mail any day now regarding my debt to the Alberta Student Loan Association; at which point I'll examine it carefully then tear it up and toss it in a fire in what'll be a dramatic gesture of defiance.

The irony here is lost on me.

2006-10-09T21:45:24Z

Little is new. I've got an honest-to-god beer belly, but that's cause and effect for ya. N. Korea detonated a nuke, yet all major media publications are treating it less like a provocation and more of a better-luck-next-time-suckers sorta non-event. While I'm certainly not the type who enjoys senseless violence I'd be mighty disappointed to learn that the 400 cans of beans & pork along with the 47 gallons of water I've stored away in my basement would have been cash better spent. Boy is my face red.

bibulousconfab @ 2006-07-25T20:35:00

2006-07-26T03:00:02Z

My plan to quit smoking failed miserably. Now I'd rather just play gin rummy on a park bench with you, smoking until the teeth rot out of my head.
Summer has been bright and lazy, in late August I'm going surfing in Tofino.

bibulousconfab @ 2006-07-05T16:02:00

2006-07-05T22:23:43Z

Apparently Ken Lay just died from a heart attack. Sounds pretty fishy if you ask me.
The title of the article is also worth noting - death can save the guy from jail time, but nobody can escape the justice served by a terrible pun.

bibulousconfab @ 2006-05-21T15:16:00

2006-05-21T21:58:12Z

Spent most of this past week readin' and drinkin' on the porch, sweatin' it out. Think I've lost about 10 lbs because of this heat. The house itself has turned into a kind of sauna - which has certainly kept the cats at eachother's throats, especially around dinner time. Pedro is almost always the first to the bowl, simultaneously chowin' down and swiping his free paw at whomever comes near, usually Biggs. Wedge in the meantime waits politely for her turn.
The roommates have all gone out of town for the long weekend so I've had the house all to myself. This morning I found a man sleeping in our yard, he was using his shoe as a pillow. At first, I was a little freaked out, considering I was all alone in the house and this man happened to be a very large sleeping man. But soon enough my fright turned to pity - he looked harmless enough, and I can't really blame him for choosing our yard to sleep in, the shade and the smell of the lilacs is very alluring. When I told my mother about it she said I should just be worried about people using our yard as a toilet. As a precaution I've taken to wanderin' around the outside of the house with my Louieville Slugger, but people tell me I'm the least intimidating guy ever, so a lot of good that'll do us I'm sure.